5 days in, and feeling like i'm sluggish...

And to be honest, I really am. I have cut back on my food intake, but didn't cut regular soda out until yesterday. I had my first diet soda in over a decade, and it didn't taste too bad. But I kinda counter acted it with those damn biscuits. *sigh* I have a thing for pastries or breads....I know I dont have to cut them out of my diet altogether, but I need to learn some damn will power or I will have to. I got frustrated a few days ago, as I stepped on the scale (I know, I know, I shouldn't do it more than once a week, but I feel like I "HAVE" to know) and I was up to 246....how in the HELL can I gain 5lbs in a day or two? "It has to be water weight" I tell myself......right? Michael also pointed out that I haven't been exercising, which I haven't.  I started the New Year out being sick and on medicine, and in pain....I'm better now though.

I walked yesterday...I think it's about 3 miles total. I walked from my house to the community center and back, as I had to take the girls to school. I felt so bad for them cuz thier little legs hurt. Not so much on the way there, but on the way back when we had to tackle our hill. 0.4 miles uphill (some parts a bit steep) is a workout for their little legs. poor things. But, we did it, and I felt so much better. So, I got up this morning and did a round of Tae-Bo. It's not an easy thing to do, and it ticks me off that there are all these skinny muscular (some bone skinny) chicks on there. I see them, and it does give me motivation, but they can keep their balance. I CANT. I feel myself falling over, and I feel like giving up on it. I don't, but I'm scared that one day I will.  

I know this is a bit jumbled....just had to get the funk out of my head. Looking for some routine in all of this.....all I want to do is see the numbers go down. I HATE THEM GOING UP. I feel like when it's time for my official weigh in on the 8th....it's going to be the same or higher....